"Growing up, I imagined dating would be glamorous and exciting. Finding your match happened whenever fate deemed fit, and meet-cutes were a real thing. Of course, I now know that finding your person requires a little more finesse. Yet, trying to follow all the rules, hacks, and theories that promise to deliver “the one” to your doorstep can make dating exhausting. It’s no wonder more singles are reportedly taking a more casual, laid-back approach to finding love. Case in point: the “wildflowering” and “explorationships” dating trends. Going hand-in-hand, these trends are changing the dating world as we know it, giving singles a refreshed outlook on what it takes to find “the one,” and (dare I say??) making dating more fun. To learn more, I tapped an expert to understand what wildflowering and explorationships mean for the future of dating, plus how to embrace them.
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Shan Boodram, MA, Bumble’s Sex & Relationships Expert
Shan Boodram is a certified sex educator and intimacy expert with a M.S. in Psychology and diploma in print journalism. Boodram is Bumble’s Sex & Relationships Expert, the host of The Marriage Pact on The Roku Channel, the host of the top podcast “Lovers and Friends,” the workshop facilitator on Netflix’s Too Hot to Handle, and the author of the best-selling book The Game of Desire.
How wildflowering is encouraging singles to stay curious
According to Bumble’s Resident Sex and Relationships Expert Shan Boodram, wildflowering is the newest trend taking over the dating scene, and it is all about dating curiously and spontaneously. Instead of limiting yourself to only the most “promising” suitors, you go on dates with people outside your normal “type,” knowing they might not be the one. This noncommittal approach to dating isn’t counterproductive, though. Rather, wildflowering lets your heart take the lead since it encourages you to say “yes” to dates that feel right in the moment, not just what checks a box or looks good on paper.
“Instead of employing a rigid set of rules, this open-minded approach affirms that it’s OK to explore intriguing connections just for the hell of it.”
The beauty of wildflowering is that it adds spontaneity to dating and permits you to take a few detours in your dating journey. Instead of employing a rigid set of rules, this open-minded approach affirms that it’s OK to explore intriguing connections just for the hell of it. As you meet and date new people, your eyes are opened to the qualities you’re looking for in a partner, the areas you’re willing to compromise on, and what your non-negotiables are.
Allowing feelings, like curiosity and excitement, to drive which connections you pursue can make dating feel fun again. It’s encouraging singles to step out of their comfort zones, whether that’s dating outside of their type or simply switching up date spots. Either way, wildflowering is all about exploring, which is proving to be a lot more enjoyable for singles.
Why explorationships are removing labels
Fueling the wildflowering dating trend is the emergence of explorationships—the dating trend that’s changing how singles view commitment. In essence, explorationships are a laid-back alternative to traditional relationships without the messiness of situationships. Boodram explained that both parties in an exploration don’t know what they want, but mutually agree they want to explore the connection and see where it might go together. “It’s a way of dating that emphasizes the importance of living in the present, and enjoying your time with someone in the moment,” Boodram added.
Perhaps the biggest reason why explorations are so popular right now is that, according to Boodram, singles nowadays want to know more about their partner before investing in them. “This has led to a pre-commitment stage where people slowly transform their uncommitted and informal connections into committed partnerships,” she explained.
“As a society, we’ve become bogged down by dating rules and checklists, but these trends remind us that dating doesn’t have to be so much work.”
Unlike traditional relationships, explorationships eradicate labels in favor of a “slow burn” approach. Getting into a committed relationship can absolutely be the end goal, but explorations affirm you don’t have to chase that label. Rather, you can let the relationship unfold naturally, whether it develops romantically or platonically. Sometimes, explorations end up as friendships without hard feelings. All in all, this trend gives you the freedom to enjoy the process of getting to know potential suitors on your journey to love. It prioritizes enjoyment over overthinking.
How to feel empowered and embrace these trends
In a world that views finding a life partner as the ultimate dating prize and offers an unlimited number of tips on how to do just that, the wildflowering and explorationships are a breath of fresh air. As a society, we’ve become bogged down by dating rules and checklists, but these trends remind us that dating doesn’t have to be so much work. Instead, it can be a fun, relaxing, and enjoyable process, so long as we’re willing to let the chips fall where they may and accept people as they are rather than who we want them to be. After all, we can’t control everything, and relinquishing control in our love lives can feel so empowering.
That said, Boodram warns that these trends, namely explorationships, aren’t universal prescriptions but rather invitations to make dating more enjoyable by allowing yourself to meet interesting people instead of solely searching for your soulmate. If you’re unsure whether an explorationship is the right move for you, try wildflowering first. This will dip your toes into explorationships and give you an idea of what being in one might feel like. The good news is that, unlike situationships, explorationships place you and the other person on the same page; you know exactly what your boundaries are from the start, which prevents you from falling into that gray area where you’re together without a label.
Why you should let go of expectations in your dating life
None of this is to say that finding a partner you can be with long-term can’t be the end goal, because it absolutely can. Rather, “it just means the route there can be both intentional and nonlinear with joyful detours along the way,” Boodram explained. Like everything in life, it’s important to be honest with yourself and the people you date about your feelings. If they start evolving while you’re embracing these trends, don’t keep them to yourself. This will inevitably lead to cracks in whatever’s happening between you two and potentially hinder your chances of developing into something more.
At the end of the day, dating is a journey. We’re all just trying to figure out what we want. Sometimes things don’t work out, and that’s OK—it’s not a reflection on you. The truth is, some connections are meant to fizzle out, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. According to Boodram, the most meaningful connections can happen where you least expect them, like in a TSA line at the airport or on a business trip. If you can let go of expectations and embrace exploration, your dating life will be all the better for it.
Arianna Reardon, Contributing Writer
Arianna is a freelance writer and journalist, and the self-proclaimed hot and dirty martini queen. At The Everygirl, Arianna uses her authenticity and relatability to empower, inspire, and motivate women everywhere. Whether she’s writing about sex and relationships, career and finance, beauty and fashion, wellness, or home and living, Arianna’s passion shines through in all her work.
Feature graphic images credited to: Cora Pursley | Dupe, Cora Pursley | Dupe, Lauren Hemmert-Jensen | Dupe, Laura Branch | Dupe, Vanja Zivanovic | Dupe, Clara Mgo | Dupe